But to all who received him, he gave them the right to become children of God […] (John 1: 12)
A friend who’s near
1.
Sometimes I was sitting here, feeling
somehow good
But sometimes also something was
missing, and I felt my heart cry.
Than I wished that I would be a little bit more open minded
Than I could see that I also needed a friend to talk!
Refrain
I’m still asking
I’m still singing I’m still dreaming
I’m still hoping
I’m still asking – asking for someone’s ear I’m still singing – singing songs that you can hear
I’m still dreaming – dreaming for someone without fear
I’m still hoping – hoping for a true friend near!
2.
Sometimes I was praying to some one that
I could have
The eternal power to stand upright and stand every situation!
Than I noticed that I need some one good by my side
Whom I could blindly trust and who would not fear me!
3.
Today I know, whatever will be, there is a
God who is a friend:
Who does not care who or what I am, who
always want to stay by my side.
Who always wants to hear my songs,
who’s always listening to my needs
Who has no fear to be close to me, thank
you Lord Jesus that YOU are here!
Ein Freund der Nahe ist
1.
Manchmal saß ich hier und fühlte mich
irgendwie gut
Aber manchmal fehlte auch etwas und ich
fühlte mein Herz weinen.
Dann wünschte ich, dass ich ein wenig
offener für andere wäre
Dann konnte ich sehen, dass ich auch einen Freund zum Reden brauchte.
Refrain
Ich frage noch immer Ich singe noch immer
Ich träume noch immer
Ich hoffe noch immer
Ich frage noch immer – nach jemandes Ohr Ich singe immer noch – Lieder, die du
hören kannst
Ich träume noch immer nach jemandem
ohne Angst
Ich hoffe noch immer – nach einem Freund, der nahe ist.
2.
Manchmal betete ich zu irgendwem, dass ich doch bitte hätte
Die innere Power aufrecht zustehen und jede Situation bewältigen zu können. Dann bemerkte ich, dass ich jemand
Gutes” an meiner Seite brauchte,
Dem ich blind vertrauen könnte und der keine Angst vor mir hätte.
3.
Heute weiß ich, was auch immer sein wird, da ist ein Gott, der ist ein Freund: Der sich nicht kümmert wer oder was ich bin, der immer an meiner Seite steht. Der immer meine Lieder hören will, der immer auf meine Bedürfnisse schaut. Der keine Angst hat mir nahe zu sein: Danke Herr Jesus, dass DU da bist!
“You will find me and find me. For if you seek me with all your heart, I will be found of you, saith the Lord, and I will turn your captivity.” (Jeremiah 29, 13f.)
This song was probably written in the JVA in Celle in 2019 and is one of my early songs whose lyrics I almost did not change.
It was created in the smallest detention room I have met, narrowed down, new on a new station, but with a wonderful view after two years I could enjoy almost no view to “outside”.
This new view to the outside sparked me again my “innate” wanderlust. On the one hand satisfied and happy about this extended view, on the other hand torn by the desire to walk in front of the walls. And deep down in me the desire for a person to whom I could entrust myself without fear that he could condemn me, because I was already sentenced, to life imprisonment and of myself for many of my missteps in my life.
Are there people you can fully trust with who won’t disappoint you?
The Bible says that one should not place one’s trust in people, but yet we are communicative creatures who want to exchange with their environment.
The refrain speaks of a little courage in me, because I wanted to communicate and I had found a new means of communication for myself: singing and ukulel playing, how wonderful.
I still like to play the song after the years, because yes, I still want to ask for ears, who listen to me, I want to continue to turn my interior outwards, through my singing, I do not want to stop dreaming that there is a person who is not afraid of me, because I am aware that I carry a thick package with me, a package of the past; and from this the formulation of hope, because hope dies What I didn’t know very well at the time is the fact that this friend, who wants to be and IS close to me, was already there day after day and waiting for me.
Yes, in prison, everyone probably starts praying, even if they may not want to admit it. If you don’t blow away reality with crushing chemical drugs, you get to the point where you have to deal with yourself, and that’s a good thing! What we bring in prayer towards heaven is certainly very individual. My problem is often that I can’t open up well and often retreat when it gets too much for me. I used to wash away this “shortcoming” with alcohol, but at the beginning of my prison career I had never decided to drink alcohol again, and here in prison this works really well, if you are not totally jaded and want to continue on illegal ways. So my prayer was that I wanted to find strength to be able to master the daily difficult, demanding situations on my own strength; however, I did not know our wonderful God too well, who, as is well known, would like to show his strength in our weaknesses (2. Corinthians 12, 9). But in me came again the awareness of the necessity that man needs someone to whom he can confide, someone who always wants to be with him, that best friend, to whom one, to whom I could trust absolutely blindly without having to worry, that he wants to turn me out of my life story the proverbial rope.
Today I know… this is what I wrote in Strophe three back in 2019 and at some point in the course of my development in the relationship with and to God in Jesus Christ changed by a “power” that is always there, to the tangible God who is already waiting in the morning when I wake up so that he can show me his love and can accompany me lovingly through the day. I have learned that people can never, never be as sincere and forgiving as our heavenly Father, can never be as close as my Savior and best friend Jesus Christ, with whom I also sometimes struggle, but who does not quarrel with me, but always wants to lead me on his right path. He doesn’t just want to be by my side every day, he’s by my side every day whether I realize it or not, whether I put my focus on it or not. He is eager to hear my new songs on a daily basis, he is eager to write new songs with me, to play ukulele with me…
Yes He also listens daily to what I put before the heavenly throne, “needs” and annoyances, even He always listens and acts according to his wisdom in giving and not giving. In the last line I write that He is not afraid of being with me either; but the thing is rather that He invites that we, that I have no fear, oppresses us and me, is oppressed, moved, in positive and negative, to bring to Him so that He can take care of us, and give us a peaceful, quiet heart that rests in Him.
Thank you Lord Jesus Christ, my friend near me, thank you not only for being a fantasy but the truth
and the life, the light in my life, thank you for being the living God who cares for his people!
“For I know exactly what thoughts I have about you, says the Lord: Thoughts of peace, and not
of suffering, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29, 11)